


Respect and Sorrow

by TheEloquentDecadent



Series: Blown Up on Landing [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Light Dom/sub, Mid-Canon, Open Relationships, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, set after the crash on Jakku and before Finn gets to the base
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 21:58:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10580295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEloquentDecadent/pseuds/TheEloquentDecadent
Summary: Poe finally made it back to base after Jakku...."Poe--" Leia kneels by the couch so she can reach him."I saw him, Leia. He's--"Leia kisses him to shut him up. "Don't, Poe. Please don't."Poe melts into her touch, forgetting for a moment his wounds and the agony of his escape. He's here with her for now.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all, _we_ know that Finn is fine, but Poe doesn't know that yet. Just, fyi. This one is more sads than porn.

"Dameron." It's stiff, awkward, strangled in a way Poe hasn't heard her since... well, in a long time.

"General." Poe would nod or something, but Kalonia isn't done sealing the wound in his head.

"Congratulations on not getting blown up on the landing," she says for the thousandth time, voice thick. "I hear it was a near thing."

It's a running joke, but the reality of what he just survived weighs it down.

"You have a debriefing after she's done with you, then I'd like to see you in my quarters."

"Yes, General Organa." Poe reaches for her hand, hoping to convince one of them they weren't hallucinating, if not both. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Kalonia insists that Poe shower in medical so a droid can supervise.

"I don't want you to pass out or slip and injure yourself further. Either you shower with EL10N in the room, or you get a sponge bath."

EL10N it is. Poe tries to shower quickly, avoiding his bacta patches and trying not to torque his back in the process.

"Status report."

"I'm still good, El. Almost done with my hair."

Once he's clean, Poe ends up slumped on the little bench with EL10N helping him into clothes.

"I'm instructed to administer your second dose of pain medication and antibiotics," EL10N informs him, pressing the injector to his neck. "Then you are free to go."

"Can- can you call someone to help me to the General's quarters? I don't trust my strength yet."

"Affirmative."

...

Nph'tac is a slight woman with an orangish hue, but her height belies her strength. She gets him to command almost before he realizes it, little of his weight on his own feet.

One of Leia's aides announces them, and the door to her office slides open. Leia helps Nph'tac get Poe into the room and settled on the tiny couch therein.

"Thank you, nurse. Your services are appreciated. You are dismissed."

The door slides shut behind her, leaving an exhausted Poe in front of a world-weary Leia.

"Poe-" Leia kneels by the couch so she can reach him.

"I saw him, Leia. He's-"

Leia kisses him to shut him up. "Don't, Poe. Please don't."

Poe melts into her touch, forgetting for a moment his wounds and the agony of his escape. He's here with her for now.

"Did Kalonia give you pain medication? You're a wreck." Leia runs her fingers through his hair, and Poe struggles to stand. "Stop, sit and let me look at you."

"The couch is too small. Everything aches."

Leia nods firmly, opening the door to her quarters.

"Let's get you inside, then."

Between the two of them, Poe's loose sweats and t-shirt end up on the floor, leaving him in his reg-issue underwear. He sits on her bed carefully, every muscle aching as he lowers to the blankets. 

"I've gotten two doses of pain medication, but I don't let her give me the good stuff." Poe shakes his head against the bed. "I don't like giving up-- I don't like giving up control of my mind."

The silence has weight. Leia pulls a brush from her sidetable and starts on his hair.

"The man who saved me is dead, Leia." It isn't what Poe meant to say. "He got me out of there by breaking his brainwashing, and he died on Jakku."

(Poe isn't sure what he meant to say.)

"You were abducted because I sent you on this mission," and that doesn't feel like what Leia wanted to say, either. "You were violated because of me. Now hush, let me look at you."

Poe goes quiet as Leia's hands skim over him, pausing on his bruises and wounds, his skin buzzing with the beginnings of something more. He tugs on her wrist after long moments.

"Ask me."

"We're equals here," Leia whispers. "Do you want me?"

"Yes," Poe says, not bothering to open his eyes. "Yes, I do."

Her touch becomes more purposeful, soothing the pain and stoking the fire as time passes. Poe's brain stops whirling, the pain stops hurting, and he drifts.

…

Poe wakes achy and horny, curled up in Leia's bed with one of her shirts under his head. Leia is still playing with his hair, her data pad in her other hand.

"You're awake. Good. I'm supposed to wake you in ten minutes anyway." She sets the pad down and picks up a bottle, holding the straw to his slack lips. "Drink, pet. You're dehydrated, and Kalonia is going to kill me."

The first drops of water remind Poe how thirsty he is, and he all but drains the bottle.

"How long was I out? How much did I miss?"

Leia puts the bottle on the side table and runs her fingers through his hair.

"I worked some of the knots out of your back, and reapplied ointment to your wounds, and you fell asleep somewhere in the process."

"Was I good?"

"You were. You are."

"Kiss me?"

Leia leans down to kiss him, and Poe melts into the bed. He manages enough energy to guide Leia down to the bed with him, laid out where he can reach her.

"I don't want to think," Poe whispers.

(Not about Kylo Ren, not about Jakku, not about his thoughts ripped from his head, his droid ripped from his grasp, his rescuer ripped from the universe.)

"You don't have to," Leia promises. "You're with me. All you have to do is be good."

"I can be good," Poe promises. "I can be good for you."

"I know, love." Leia kisses him, the hand not in his hair sliding down his bare chest to cup his cock. "You're always so good for me."

Poe's brain goes offline as Leia strokes him, sliding her hand into his underwear and teasing the head. She works him over just the way he likes, slow and steady and agonizingly perfect. He's so worked up from the pain and the adrenaline and the woman he's sharing a bed with that it doesn't take much to get him begging.

"Leia, Leia, please. Please, can I-- can I--"

"Come when you want to, pet." Leia bites his bottom lip, just enough to sting. "We've got all night for just the two of us."

Poe comes with a shudder, like his mind can't process the pleasure tied up with the pain. Leia works him through it with gentle strokes and gentler kisses.

...

The first words he manages next are "I need you to hurt me."

Leia turns Poe over her lap, allowing him to rest his chest and face on the bed so he doesn't go toppling off.

"You're sure?"

"I want this," Poe rasps. "I need this, Leia. Please."

The first blow startles him, her small hand striking his ass sharply. She takes her time warming him up, a gesture he appreciates when the paddle lands for the first time.

The thud and sting of the paddle lands over and over again, past the point that Poe can count, fire lacing through his ass and into his fucking soul. He scrabbles at the bedding, biting down whines and sobs until his control snaps. 

Leia drops the paddle the moment the first harsh sob rips from his chest and gathers him into her arms. She tucks his face into her neck and rubs his back, murmuring soothing reassurances as he cries.

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. Fuck, Finn, I'm so sorry." Poe slurs his words, chest ripping open. "I'm so fucking sorry, I couldn't save him and I hate myself for it, fuck, I'm sorry."

"I've got you." Leia kisses his hair, his neck, his jaw, his salt-slick cheek. "I've got you. Let it out, love. You're safe with me."

"He was s-so good a-and real, and now he's dead and I couldn't save him." Poe sobs harder at the idea of the man's bright smile blocked by the desert sands. "N-never met a trooper who broke the hold."

"If he's as amazing as you say, there's always a chance he made it out. The Force has its ways." Leia brushes his hair out of his eyes. "For now, let me worry about it. Give me your concerns, and I'll take care of them until you're ready to have them back."

Poet's sobs quiet as he follows the order, letting her hold him together. He doesn't notice the hot tears rolling down Leia's cheeks.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me and a lot of porn on tumblr [here](theeloquentdecadent.tumblr.com).


End file.
